Gospel Project 1: When God Doesn’t Live up to My Plans
We all know the story of Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego. They refused to worship the false gods of Babylon, and, having been rated out by the Chaldeans, King Nebuchadnezzar questions them: “Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?”
Notice their response: “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, ‘O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.’” (Daniel 3:16-18)
It’s easy to worship the living and true God when things are going well. As a pastor, my perception of my own holiness is far too closely linked to my performance. Last Sunday I preached reasonably well (an act of God in and of itself, but of course I take the credit), and I have been coasting through the week on the high that comes as a result.
Today was the day when I got taken down a notch. Or 50.
I’m in a period of transition now, looking to see what God has in store for my future. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been waiting to hear about a ministry opportunity. It seemed like a good fit, and I’ve been waiting to hear about the when and where, thinking it was more or less a done deal. Today that opportunity was taken completely off the table.
To say I was stunned would be an understatement. That was my fall-back plan, and it just fell through. I’m 55 days away from my final pay check, and–at the moment–I have no real options.
I’m tempted to be angry, thinking I deserve better. I’m tempted to panic. I’m tempted to call everyone I know and try to scare up a few opportunities; it would make me feel better to at least have some options on the table. My impulse is to try to make something happen.
But my mind is drawn–clearly by the Holy Spirit, since I’m incapable of getting myself to this state at present–to the words of Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego, facing death in a fiery furnace: God is able to provide for me, but even if he doesn’t, I will trust in no one else.”
This is what the gospel calls us to. Sometimes we sing triumphantly–”Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me“–other times we defeatedly whimper–”Lord, to whom [else] shall we go? You [alone] have the words of eternal life”. Either way, it is God’s presence with us, not our performance–or lack thereof–that is essential.
The difficult times are crucial, because they force me to come to question what I am truly holding on to. Do I want God because he is true and perfect and merciful? Or do I just want him to fix my life for me and then leave me alone? If things never get any better–if I have to get a job a Starbucks–do I still want God, or am I only content when I can be doing something “significant” for him?
It occurs to me that in my wedding vows–as in yours, presumably–I promised to be faithful “from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, ’til death do us part.” I made that promise on what was probably the happiest day of my life, and yet it was an acknowledgement that life would likely get worse. Yet Ashley’s presence with me in the hard times is far better than being alone in the good times, so we have pledged ourselves to each other.
I would not think of forsaking that promise should I still be in need of employment 2 months from now. Why then does my faith in the one whose grip on me cannot be loosened even by death waver?
Clearly I have not forgotten the depth of love God has shown me in Christ. When the option was his people and death on the cross or his own comfort, he chose us. Even when there are no options open to me, there are no better offers on the table than his presence with me.
May God grant me the faith of Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego, to know that God is able of providing for me, but even if he doesn’t, it is far better to be with him despite the cost than to be safe and alone.
April 3rd, 2008 at 7:22 am
I thought this was an excellent post and would like to see more.
Please Sir?
April 3rd, 2008 at 7:37 am
So much for that one-post-a-day thing, eh?
I’ll get back on it.